Worlds Largest Remote

Everything here is the God's honest truth. Nothing has been altered, not the photos, my sarcasm, my shock and awe, nor my sense of humor.

Here it is. The world's largest remote from the world's largest cable company. I know it looks like a novelty carnival prize, but the thing is for real. I put a Motorola Razr next to it in order to give it some sense of scale and included my hands which normally takes a large or extra large size gloves (that's right ladies).

This thing is meant for our more seasoned customers who find our regular sized remote too complicated. I'm almost afraid to give someone one for fear they would beat me to death with a tennis balled walker. This thing is so cartoony that it takes four, count them, four AA sized batteries to run. I'm a little surprised it doesn't have a kick starter.

Did someone do market research on this thing and find this is the product the, "Greatest Generation" really wants? As if the shear size isn't frightening enough and the possibility for electromagnetic fields causing some sort of brain cancer, the thing has a lanyard. Yes, that is right. You can strap it right to your wrist so you never ever lose it. Never mind the fact that if you did lay it down, you could locate where you left it using the sattelite feature on Google Maps (that and of course, the Great Wall of China).

Wow. Let me know what you think.

I think I had a vision

I think I had a vision last night. I don't know that it was as fancy as the movies like, "Thunderheart" might suggest, but I'm warming up to the idea - or at least my version of a vision, which I think is maybe really a vision.

I was inside a big pen with buffalo all around me. One large buffalo passed me and suddenly a shaman with a painted face appeared. The shaman asked which tribe I was from and grabbed my right hand. There was a polka doted ring on my ring finger and I stammered a reply of, "Cherokee". He replied, "That is good I was afraid you were going to say, Lakota." He looked at me again and said with a puzzled expression on his face, "You don't talk about your ancestry anymore, why?". I replied that it seemed everyone was a Native American after Dances with Wolves came out. He chucked.

Just then I had to move out of the way of a growing pool of urine one of the buffalo was leaving on the ground. Before I could talk to him again, he was gone and I was awake.

I am only 1/16th Native American. I never claim it as my ancestry. I think it is cool that I had a great, great grandmother named Pony Queen on my father's side, buy I'm an American Mutt. Who doesn't have mixed ancestory. I like to think that I have two great connections to great trails on both parents' side. My mother with the Mormon Trail and my father with the Trail of Tears. I also didn't realize until after I awoke and started thinking about it all that I wear my father's wedding ring on my right hand ring finger.