To anyone who works Customer Service

This project started as a translator. It turns out I was pretty good at reading past the marginal grammar and spelling in order to figure out what a customer's e-mail said. It evolved into putting in my editorial in order to keep my sanity. The customer's comments are real, nothing was changed. In the world of spell checker it is hard to believe people actually spell this badly, but perhaps no one can find that elusive f3 key.

The comments in bold are mine. I think they are pretty funny. This was a job I worked where we sent video game rentals via the mail - similar to NetFlix. I have changed the name of the company in order to protect me from any legal silliness. The company is pretty big now, but in those days we would divide days into half the day taking phone calls, and the other half answering e-mail. The room in which we answered phones was about the size of the average college dorm room. We would often bump elbows with our co-workers.

I sincerely hope anyone who works customer service enjoys it.

“I did have no spray”

Customer is indicating that spray, with which to clean a game, was unavailable to him.

I WILL LIKE U TO CONTACT ANONGAMES.COM TO SEND ME MY REQEST

Customer indicates that his/her command of English is too poor for a phone call. His written command is apparently much improved thanks to his/her, “Learn English at Home” course.

YHANK YOU KIM, IT SEEMS THERE IS A LOT OF CONFUSION AT THE ANONGAMES.COM COMPANY ? WILL TRY FOR A NOTHER MONTH BEFORE I DECIDE IF THIS IS WORTH THE EFFORT?

My right shoe is on my left foot and we had no employee named Kim.

i'm DID NOT STAY WITH THE GAME!

should i contact the mail agency about this?

Customer is indicating that he did not keep this game and asking whether or not to contact the postal service since we apparently did not receive it.

i was wondering if you could send me a pakege that comes in with the pakege

Customer is requesting another mailer to be sent.

I am wondering if you have the postal code for Yugioh 2004

Is tracking information available for the game?

But will they charge us for the games

Customers will often have pronoun trouble. “They” often means, “You”. “We” , “it”, often refers to “Me”. Be always on alert for pronouns. Likewise for colloquialisms like, “Y’all” refers to “You” again.

i have sent freedom fighters back in the mail last weds i would apperciate it if you get it to e-mail me

Customer is indicating he would like to be credited for a game that was Kept Forced and which he returned.

I ORDER TWO GAMES R RACEING EVOLUTION AND BAUDLERS GATE 2 ONLY ONE HAS

BEEN SENT SO FAR BECAUSE THE FIRST TWO U SENT ME NEVER CAME BUT BAULDERS

GATE CAME AN R RACEING EVOLUTION NEVER HAS ARRIVED I JUSS WANTED TO LET

YOU KNOW THAT I GOT ONE GAME AND I AM WAITIN FOR THE SECOND ONE TO BE

SHIPED WHICH IS R RACEING EVOLUTION...

I received the replacement for Balder’s Gate and I am awaiting the replacement for R Racing Evolution.

I attempted to change the email i used to login and it told me that it was

already used in the system. what does that mean

I am often using my model glue in an enclosed space.

I'm concerned that that makes two games now that I've sent back that you

haven't received, and now you still don't show sky oddessey (sp?) as

returned, yet it's be almost a week. Should I notify the police, since

I'm mailing them from my mailbox? -jason

I have watched one too many episodes of CSI Miami.

Get a better

ad-comp, biatch. Netflix is werkin, buh anongames.com doggin lo, riy? AGRSIV!

Your commercials are not to my liking sir. I prefer NetFlix’s advertisements. Thank you for your consideration.

I need 2 new mail selves, because the mouse ate it, but the disc is OK. I have tried it 2 times, and the mouse got it. If you need anything, then e-mail me at ozarxx2003@yahoo.com. Thank you

I need two mailers as my (pet?) mouse mistook it for a “two-fer” Tuesday special.

ai pay 5.95 foor 4 weik and ai gat nateing i wont mi $ bak

I paid $5.95 for a 4 week membership and I got nothing. I would like a refund.

please send me video games to watch.

My game controller is broken.

Ok I'm going to send you another e-mail on your web site just incase. I

probably seem like totally weird but thats ok. If you didn't get the

other e-mail I sent you here is the story. Like 2 weeks ago I ordered a

game from a different company they sent me no e-mail stating they got my

order or anything I heard nothing from them. So I stopped writing to

them. I come online today buying the same game which is cool because you

send me an e-mail like pronto however. The people that I bought the same

game from well that game is like totally already in the mail. I'm not

totally flipped out because I have 2 of the same game and twice as much as

I wanted taken out of my bank account with is soooo not cool. I figured

it would be easier for you to cancel my order here. Please if you could I

really really need you too. My name is Amanda Evans I bought LifeLine for

the PS2 and my e-mail is amandxx@iland.net I would really be greatful its

totally not your service so don't get the wrong idea. I'll buy from you

again some other time I'm just taking the simplist rout at the moment.

Thanx a million (and if you got my other e-mail as well Thanx a

million......again.)

One word. Decaf. She’s also from Missouri.

ai am very sorry iodine have d 3- namer own d bak of d card you ask MI dat way i gate decline ken AI have d Tel number four order a gam

I seem to be unable to locate the 3-digit credit card id number. Is there a phone number available to order the games?

HI i still have the game True Crime:Sreets of LA but i cant find it.Please respond to this message and tell me what i can do. I dont realy want to pay for it if i cant find it.Sorry.

I also am house bound as my shoelaces are tied together.

Why is mi credidard bloket

Why is my account suspended?

2 monday ago for nba and lest tuesday for nhl and hitman contracts. This haping bfor

I returned NBA two ago and I didn’t get the next game in my Q. This happened to me once before.

From:

Subject: Forgot my Login/Password

Comments:

pls i need to have ur log of e-mail box so that i will udse it for myn

self ,

when u re free topromise us to have it as nice .

thank u for that l as wish it

thank u

ricky

Please provide the e-mail address attached to my account

Different terms for mailers:

Mailing back envelopes, sleeves, orange thingy, shipper, game case, send back slips, cd holders, pacake

Excerpt from one that was pretty funny:

First off, I am very enraged, because not everyone in this world has a

credit card, and it is a shame that this great Anongames.com company will only

subscribe you if you have a credit card. That is absolutely unfair.

I understand that it is a fast and easy way to pay for

whatever, but still, not everthing is supposed to be easy. It might be

good for people to go to the post office and buy a stamp to mail their

Anongames.com bill. Which brings me to my next point. Much of the world is

overweight, and the credit card doesn't help this at all,but if there was

a check to mail, the overweight people would be helping themselves buy

walking to the mailbox, and you would be helping them by making them go to

the mailbox and not letting them use the credit card option and just sit

around. I am not overweight, but I want to sign up for Anongames.com and do not

have a credit card. I have checks and money orders, but no credit cards.

I'm just trying to help you see that there is more business out there that

can't get to you, because of credit cards. And you could contribute even

more to society if you think about the overweight comments I made.

Look for the Richard Simmons’s, “Sweatin’ to the Mailbox” in stores now.

every time i mail some thing it alway say i still has it out but i don’t

I mail my game and the system still says I have the game out but I don’t, it is in the mail.

Why are you still sending me this I already returned it. Now this is my final notice saying this for I have to ugly here and say this I don't mean got me HOLLA

I believe you may have sent this delinquent notice in error as I have already returned my games. Also, Ja Rule is my cousin.

Hi I have been gone for 17 days to a psychiatric hospital and during that

time I have not received any of the games in my Q list. I am also missing

other mail as well and I 'm starting to think that someone stole from my

mailbox. Please help me solve this problem with the maximum extent because

I believe someone stole from my mailbox because my parents work from

10-6pm thus they are not able to check the mail box until late night.

Perhaps another personality is playing your games?

A reply from the same customer:

I was supposed to receive 2 DVD

movies from dvdaveue.com, 3 DVD movies from walmart.com, 3 games from

anongameco.com and 3 dvd movies from netflix.com and during the past 17 days

Again I need help because all the stolen mail add up about $300. I

am in the army reserve and I can't believe of what is going on in this

world that people steal from other mail box and from poor people. I

decided to use the key-lock mail box from home depot as soon as possible.

Please I need every help I can from you because this is very unfair

because of stolen mail. Please contact me asap. Thank you for your help.

It begs the question, How much entertainment does one mental patient need? Also please tell me you aren’t really in the Army Reserve. Please… so I can sleep at night.

Today 6/29/04 was the hardest phone call I ever had to take. The call was ordinary enough but at the beginning of the call I heard a toilet flush. The guy asked what the next 2 games would be coming and while I was accessing the information, I could hear his breathing start. Stop. Pant, breathe again. Stop. Catch breath. Stop.

A wave of realization crashed over me and I couldn’t get the guy off the phone soon enough. Bathroom time is ALONE time. Period. No exceptions. It was a terrible experience. I still feel like I need a shower.

IS tha the way you do business.
I am glad i stop doing business with you i,send back your stuppit game
7/02/04. Stop opening mentallity by treathing me,tha you will turn it to a
collection agency. THANK YOU! for your kind words. Do what ever i know
was send and i have proff.(your company stink

Hello, isn´t possible to see the pictures of the website, normal we knows

the games for the pictures.

When this problem will be fisnish.

Thanks

Andy

The video card on my system is broken.

Today is the 7th day and I still have not recieved the game. I'm not impatient about getting it. My only concern is that it may have been sent to another member and I may get charged for it. I know there was a mix up several months ago and you guys sent me a Brand New XBOX that I was charged for,(I don't even have an XBOX) that was intended for some guy in the Navy over in Italy. Please make sure this issue gets resolved. DO you have a tracking number on you rental Games to find Out where it went?

Thanks,

Sir, please be certain to open ALL the windows when you are painting a room.

1. I am e-mailn’ you ‘cause my address says my zip 49120 – that’ correct. Except at the end of it it says like 4555 er wonderin if something is up

Something is up, and it certainly isn’t your IQ points. This is your Zip +4

2. cust: I lost my mailers and canceled so I need to send my games back as quickly as possible so I don’t get charged for the games. Customer was then given our address.

Cust then called back: I tried to put my games in an envelope but they wouldn’t fit.

CS: If you get a larger envelope they will fit.

Cust: How do I do that?

CS: At an office supply store like Staples?

Cust: What is that?

V/M: My name is Snyder please return my call and let me know what you are about and how you can assist me, legally, 85x8.485.50xx. I have questions about malpractice and other questions

Game rentals and legal advice?

anongames.com I gary kennedy gave the post lady both games, I asked her did I need to send the game any special way she said no. I also call you and ask you the same question and you said no just give them to the post man so i did. their are two their when i gave thwem to the post lady. the lady next door, and the officer across the street was talking to me. thank you for everything..

I Gary Kennedy wear dark socks with sandals… and a helmet.

I tried to purchase a game and you site said my card was denied. I know I
am really me and I was just at the bank an hour ago and know for a fact
that my account has more than sufficient funds to cover my purchase.
Please assist me with this. I would really like to complete my purchase of
Legend of Zelda, Wind Waker for GameCube. Please help me with this.

Your word is good enough. We will ship it immediately.

From: Edward Collinson
Subject: Billing question
Comments:
It is a human rights violation to force people into a credit or visa or
other unions as your games do to advance onto the next level these are
child cames they are biult for childern check your humanrights

Built by Kids. Played by Kids. Anongames.com e-mails from the other side.

Subject: The game was damaged, scratched, or unplayable
Game: Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude (Xbox)

Comments:
Dirty Disc Error came up everytime the game began to load.

Huh, huh, you said, " load ".